Good Girl Gone Bad
by DizzyBaby
Summary: I'm Gabriella Montez. And I've completely messed up my life." Gabriella changes from a teachers pet to a party animal and loses Troy.Her life consists of alcohol and one night stands as she spirals out of control.Will Troy save her before it's too late?
1. Counselling And Revenge

**A/N: I love writing characters that have gone off the rails, like Troy in Rather Be With You. And this time I decided to write one with Gabriella, because she is far too much a goody two shoes in the films. Troyella eventually, a pairing I have never written for before so I hope it turns out OK. Rated M overall for swearing, drug reference and sex.**

I nervously fiddle with the silver bangle on my arm, keeping my eyes firmly upon my black ballet pumps. The clock is ticking too loud, echoing through the awkward silence. I don't want to be here.

"So, tell me about you." My eyes flick up to take in the woman in front of me. My counsellor. She's reasonably pretty, in her mid thirties or so, her brown hair pulled back in a tight bun. Her blue eyes stare piercingly at me through thick edged glasses. She has a fountain pen and her notebook poised in her elegant, perfectly manicured hands, ready to write down whatever I say. I don't _want_ to say anything, but I know mom thinks this is best for me. Yeah, I think cynically, because talking about it is going to make everything better. The woman clears her throat expectantly, signalling that I should start talking. I sigh resignedly.

"I'm...Gabriella Montez. And I've completely messed up my life."

She raises her eyebrows in surprise, clearly not expecting that. I seem to be surprising a lot of people recently, and not in a good way. "I see. And why do you feel that way?"

"Because my boyfriend hates me and left me."

"Any particular reason why?" She says, and I purposefully ignore her question. She's a complete stranger to me, why should I tell her? I start picking off the peeling black vanish from my bitten down nails. "Gabriella?"

"What?" I snap.

"Why did your boyfriend break up with you? I know it's a difficult thing to talk about..."

"I-I'd rather not talk about it." I say with a nervous laugh. I'm the kind of person who likes to keep themselves to themselves. Talking about how I feel makes me feel awkward and exposed.

"Well, your mother thought it might help"

"She doesn't care." I mutter bitterly to myself. It's partly her fault anyway.

"Could you just try it? Most of my patients find that talking through their problems really helps"

"I don't _have _any problems. Why does everything think I have so many problems? I'm fine as it is"

She raises her eyebrows at my attitude. "But, you said you'd messed up your life?"

"I have. Doesn't mean I'm not fine. I like things as they are." The lie slides easily off my tongue before I can stop it. I'm quite clearly not fine. I'm replacing the people I've pushed away with toxic substances I'd never dreamed of touching before and it's going to kill me if I carry on. I know this, so why can't I stop?

She sighs and sits back in her seat, her arms folded over her chest. "Do you still love your ex-boyfriend?"

"Yes." This I'm sure of.

"Does he love you?"

"No. Not anymore." I shake my head sadly.

"Why doesn't he love you?"

"Because he's appalled by me."

"Why's that?" She asks softly. My attention returns to my nails but I know she's going to drag it out of me, whether I like it or not. "Gabriella?"

"You really want to know?" I ask flatly, and I start shaking at anger at having to pour all my secrets to some woman I've never met before. It's not like I even want to think about him anymore but I'm being forced to bring it all up again.

"Yes, I think getting it off your chest will really help..."

"It won't help at all! It won't get Troy back and it certainly won't get him to even acknowledge my existence!" I exclaim and a tear slips down my cheek. I'm usually strong but thinking about the guy whose heart I broke makes me fall apart. And I deserve it after what I did to him.

The woman looks taken aback by my fierce reaction and nods slowly. "OK, Gabriella. That's fine. If you don't want to talk about it, then we won't." She says soothingly. I furiously wipe the tear away. I have nothing to cry about. I'm not that one who got my heart broken. I'm not the one who got my world completely flipped upside down by a stupid mistake by an even stupider girl.

The woman puts her notebook down on the coffee table beside her, fixing me with a sympathetic look. I roll my eyes at her fake empathy because like she cares. "How about you come back another time when you're ready to talk?"

"I don't _want _to talk" I insist, already on my feet.

"Well, at least think about it, OK?" I make no reply and walk out her office without so much as a goodbye or a thank you. So much for lovely, polite Gabriella. But that girl is long gone and shows no sign of coming back anytime soon. Much like Troy, then. I scoff at my stupidity and pull the hood of my cardigan over my head to make me inconspicuous, once more braving the corridors full of unforgiving, gossiping students at East High.

********************************

I open my locker and check my timetable for Wednesday afternoon. Double Gym. I groan. As if this day could get any worse, I have 3 whole hours with Troy's dim-witted jock friends trying to humiliate me at any opportunity. I bang my head against my locker and wish for the hundredth time this month that I were dead.

Troy suddenly appears beside me, startling me. I watch him for a moment as he rummages through his locker. His brown hair is dishevelled and his blue eyes are cloudy and distant, like he hasn't slept in weeks. He's thrown on a crumpled Wildcat jumper and his jeans are torn and stained. He's a mess and his careless appearance is a constant reminder that it's my fault.

My eyes seems to water of their own accord, and I reach out to touch him, to comfort him. But then I'm the one who he needs comforting about. "Troy?"

He ignores me, of course. He carries on pulling books out of his locker like I'm not standing beside him. I stare at him, waiting for some kind of acknowledgement. But none comes. He slams his locker door with extra force, like he's annoyed about something, and walks off. I sigh dejectedly. If only he'd let me explain. He'd know that I never meant to hurt him, I only wanted to have some fun for once. Oh yes, and look where that got me; no boyfriend and no friends to speak of and the popular girls of the school picking on me because I dared to hurt their oh so precious Troy. I kick my locker in irritation and storm off down the corridor with my head down.

***********************************

I fall to the floor in slow motion, landing awkwardly on my arm. Pain explodes where the baseball collided with my head at a high speed. I lay face down in the dust on the pitch, fighting back the tears as laughter explodes from my fellow students. I want to kill someone, specifically Zeke and Jason, Troy's closest friends now. They humiliated me yet again as I know one of them were the ones who threw that ball at me. I _won't _let them see they got to me. I'm a different, stronger Gabriella Montez now, one who doesn't cry over everything because I've cried enough to last me a lifetime. My head is pounding so hard it makes everything blurry for a moment. I dust myself down and get to my feet with as much dignity as I can manage, shooting draggers over to the highly amused jocks.

I pick up my bat and get into position for another go, determined not to let them get the better of me. Zeke smirks at me and hurls the ball at me. I keep my eyes on it and manage to hit it back. It doesn't go where I aimed it to go. The ball goes flying straight towards him and impacts between his legs, causing a series of gasps of sympathy from the other guys who feel his pain. Zeke curls up into the foetal position, screaming and writhing around in agony. I'm shocked at first, but then I realise that he deserved it after everything he and he's friends have put me through. The butch coach does not look happy with me in the slightest, despite it being a genuine accident. Blowing her whistle, she signals the end of the game.

"Alright. Everyone back to the locker rooms now, lessons over." She barks and people reluctantly begin to leave. Grimacing, I quickly try to hide myself in the crowd so she doesn't spot me. "Not you, Montez." She calls and I roll my eyes, ready for a lecture.

"Would you please explain to me why you two have gone out of your way to inflict pain upon each other today?"

"I didn't mean to, unlike _him_. I'm not good at sports, how was I supposed to know where it would land?" I attempt to argue, but I know it'll do no good.

"It looked pretty planned to me." Zeke comments aggressively and suddenly I have no regrets about hitting him, I actually want to do it again.

I scoff as she gives him a hand up off the ground, knowing whose side she's going to take. "So you didn't see when _he_ hit _me _with the ball then? Just because you're kissing Mr B-bolton's ass because he doesn't want any of his precious team to end up in detention." I mutter, unable to stop myself.

She raises her eyebrows in surprise, obviously thinking I'd apologise profusely. A couple of months ago I probably would have, but not now. "Speaking of detention, you, little miss smart ass, just earned yourself a week full of them."

"Oh, yeah right." I exclaim darkly and storm off, not bothering to look back when she orders me to stop. I'm not going to detention if he isn't, just because all the teachers in this school treat the jocks like Gods.

I snort at a memory that flashes across my mind, where once a upon a time, the thought of detention struck fear in my heart. Now I've had so many I don't even care anymore. Oh, how geeky little Miss Montez has changed.

******************************************

**So, yes that was just a teaser, not giving away too much of what happened between Troy and Gabriella. All will be explained in the next chapters, mainly through the use of flashbacks and Gabriella talking about it to her counsellor. I've already wrote the next 2 chapters, so if you want to read them, reviews make me put up the next chapter quicker heh.**

**Oh and by the way, there's a link to what Gabriella's outfit looks like on my homepage, in case you were wondering.**


	2. Parties and confrontations

**Thanks for the reviews so far guys! Here's chapter 2.**

I quietly shut the front door behind me, as I don't want to alert my mother to my presence. She'd only start nagging at me again and I'm really not in the mood. I tip toe through the hall way, holding my breath because it sounds too loud in comparison to the deadly silent house. Maybe she's not in. One foot on the steps and she appears behind me. Damn it.

"Gabriella, what are you doing?" She asks, noting the sneaking position she caught me in and the suspicious look on my face.

"Nothing." I call back innocently.

Her hands are on her hips and her brows are furrowed in annoyance most probably. "Where were you last night? You didn't come home."

"Uh, I was staying around my friends house" I lie unconvincingly. I've told so many lies recently that I think she thinks that every word that falls from my lips is untruthful. It probably is.

"Whose house?" She knows that none of my friends want anything to do with me so I pick the first name that comes into my head.

"Emily's. You don't know her." I say quickly.

"Right." She says doubtfully, nodding. I start to make my way up the stairs, but she catches me with another question as I reach the top. "Was there a party at this Emily's house?"

My eyes widen in surprise. How did she know? "No. No party. We were just working on our science project." I call flippantly and duck into my room before anymore questions come my way. I do feel guilty that I'm lying to her all the time and I know she doesn't sleep a wink unless she knows I'm tucked up safe in my bed, which I hardly ever am anymore. But I'm not a little girl now and I'm really living my life instead of spending all my time with my nose in a book. Now I'm obsessed with make up and shoes rather than equations and homework. I've changed, but I like it this way. If only everybody else did too. I collapse onto my bed, exhausted from going from a party straight to school. I glance at my alarm clock and realise I can catch a few hours sleep before heading out tonight.

***************************************************

"Gabriella Montez, you are _not_ leaving the house dressed like that!" Comes mother screeching voice just as I turn the front door handle. How does she always do that? I knew she'd react badly to what I was wearing; a red boob tube clinched around the waist with a black belt, a pair of black hot pants, fishnet tights and a pair of polka dot shoes, which was why I tried to sneak out.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" I ask in fake innocence, pretending to be offended.

"You look like a slut!"

I roll my eyes. "Thank, mom. This is nothing compared to some of my other outfits."

"Where do you think you're going anyway? You're grounded for a month, remember?"

I scoff. I remembered, but I had no intention of keeping to it. "What, because I came home drunk? Yeah, don't tell me you never did the same when you were my age"

"You weren't drunk, you were paralytic, Gabriella"

"As if I care."

She shakes her head in disbelief. "What happened to you? You've turned into some wild party animal and I want my little girl back" She looks like she's going to cry whist I keep my face blank.

"Well, she's not coming back. Deal with it." I say coldly, and quickly slip out the door before she can stop me.

******************************************************

By the time I get to Brianna's house, the party is already in full swing and I can hear the music blaring out from half way down the street. Her favourite song, Just Dance, is just starting up as I step into her house. I giggle to myself as I see her through the crowd jumping up and down in glee. I make my way across the packed dance floor, saying hey to the people I recognise.

I met Brianna because she was a friend of a friend and we hit it off instantly. She was in my English class but I'd never spoken to her before. After the whole Troy thing, her and her friends were the only ones who hadn't taken his side in a split that seemed to divide the entire school. I'm really grateful to them for that and the group of us have become really close friends now. Mom says their a bad influence on me because they throw parties regularly and sometimes drink but their the only people who acknowledge I exist so I don't care.

I tap Brianna on her shoulder once I reach her. She looks stunning in a short green dress with matching court shoes and a black pearl necklace. In fact, green is the only colour I ever see her wear and it goes really nice with her fiery red hair and pale complexion.

"Hey, look at you!" She exclaims with a smile, checking over my outfit.

"Well, you scrub up nice too" I say cheekily with my tongue between my teeth.

"Thanks sweetie. Drinks table is over there, go help yourself to as much as you like." She winks at me and I giggle merrily. If you had told me a couple of months ago that I'd love parties and dancing as much as I do now, I'd of never believed it. I always used to think it wasn't my scene, but how wrong was I?

"Will do." I head off to the table and pour myself a vodka an orange. My friend, Destiny, sees me and pulls me onto the dance floor. We both giggle happily as we move in time with the music, swaying our hips sexily. I stay there for 10 songs before my clothes are sticking to me because I'm sweating so much. After having 3 drinks in little under an hour, my head begins to feel dizzy and I have trouble walking in my heels.

I decide to go out into the garden because fresh air always helps sober me up a little. Brianna's garden consists of a large sweeping lawn with willow trees scattered around. There are already some people out here making out. I smile shyly and perch myself down on the edge of the decking, breathing deeply. I can just make out a person swinging idly on Brianna's little sisters swing and I decide to make my way over to them. However, as I get closer, I realise I know that person.

It's Troy. I freeze, suddenly incapable to move. His eyes are lifeless and empty, out of focus as he stares down at the ground. But his cheeks are shining and that's what makes my heart stop. He's crying. Oh God. Against my better judgment, knowing I'm tipsy and we're alone and he could do anything, I nervously sit down on the swing beside him. I see him tense him. His hand comes up to wipe away his tears in embarrassment and I grab his arm. "Troy." His eyes meet mine for the first time in awhile and I can see all the hurt and anguish behind his clear blue orbs. Guilt rushes over me, a feeling I am well used to now. "Troy, talk to me."

"I've got nothing to say." He replies coldly.

"I know you're mad at me, and I totally get that. I just want you to know I'm sorry. A-and I never meant to hurt you."

"It's too late for sorry now, Gabriella. It won't change anything." He glances over at me and shakes his head in disappointment. "You're still partying. You still look like a slut."

I'm taken aback and his words hurt, but I know it's nothing compared to what I've put him through. "I-I can't stop. I would try if...if you came back to me, though" I finish hopefully.

He scoffs and gets to his feet. His hand is curled in to a fist and he's shaking in anger. "Don't, Gabriella. Just don't start begging me to come back. It's _never_ happening, why can't you _get_ that?"

"Because I still lov-"

He knows what I'm going to say and cuts me off. "No. No, you _don't_. In my eyes, you're just a heartless murderer, whether it was mine or not. And nothing you can say will ever change that" He says simply and strolls away into the night, leaving me alone with my silent remorseful tears. Suddenly, I don't feel like dancing or partying anymore.

**Is anyone actually reading this?** **:( Well, if you are, can you review pretty please? I've finished writing this entire story now, I just need to post it. There's a link to Gabriella's party outfit on my homepage.**


	3. Truths and Revelations

**Yay, I got a fair few reviews for the last chapter! Thank you! But...I want at least another 5-10 before the next goes up, which is fair enough considering the hits I get for this story :D**

**WARNING: This chapter is quite dark. As usual, lots of swearing and adult themes.**

"Mom, you can't _make_ me go to this! It's completely pointless." I say with pleading eyes. But she is resolute, having reached the end of her tether with me after I came home drunk and crying my eyes out last night.

"Yes, I can. You need to sort your life out, Gabriella. I'm not having an alcoholic daughter and I'm certainly not letting you become a mother at 17." She replies desperately.

"No, mom. I'm to going to be a mother anymore, _remember_?" I say harshly, my hands going unconsciously to my stomach. She can't meet my eyes anymore and I'm glad she feels guilty because now she knows how I feel everyday. She holds the office door open for me. I groan and step inside, knowing I have no other choice.

"Hello, Gabriella. How are you today?" My counsellor greets me pleasantly.

"Fine." I say shortly, flopping down into the seat opposite her. I watch as she flicks through her notebook so she can continue her notes about me.

"OK then. Shall we pick up from where we left off last time?" She asks cautiously.

"If we have to" I say with a flippant shrug, despite the fact that my heart was racing.

"We were talking about your ex-boyfriend. Now, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to. Why does he hate you?"

I sigh wearily, knowing she's going to keep asking until I tell her. I don't want to prolong these sessions any longer than necessary. I take a deep breath. "He hates me because…" I advert my gaze to the floor to hide the tears welling up. If I say this out loud, it's going to make it real. It's like I'm admitting it to myself, because if I keep in my head I can pretend I didn't do anything. Saying it out loud is me coming to terms with it. Time to stop pretending, Gabriella. "He hates me because I slept with his best friend. He hates me because I had drunken one night stands with guys I didn't even know. But most of all, he hates me because I had an abortion to get rid of a baby that may or may not have been his"

The woman's eyebrows disappear into her hair and her jaw drops. Her gaze runs over my appearance; white skinny jeans and a light blue baby doll top with a darker blue shrug over the top. A very tame outfit compared to what I've worn in the past. Obviously she thought someone like me wouldn't be capable of doing such a thing. But there we go, it's out in the open now. But it's not like the whole school doesn't know anyway. "Forgive me, Gabriella. I was not expecting you to say that" She says apologetically once she's regained the ability to speak.

"No one ever does. Little miss goody two shoes would never do such a thing." I mutter mockingly.

"Is that why you did it? Because you wanted to alter peoples perception of you?"

"Yeah, I was sick of being the good girl. I just wanted to know what it felt like to drink, to have a good time. But I had to go and take it too far and fuck things up."

She nods understandingly, but I'm sure she's never gone through what I have. "OK, start from the beginning. Where did it first start going wrong?"

I sigh sadly, knowing old memories I'd tried to repress were going to be dragged back up. "That would be the last night of summer vacation. We were all celebrating finishing our jobs at the Lava Springs Resort."

_OK, this is not good. I think I may have had a bit too much to drink. I glance down at the line of empty alcohopop bottles and groan. How can I have drunk that much? I'm slumped down at the bottom of the grassy hill, laying on my back, gazing up at the twinkling stars above me. They look close enough to touch and so beautiful too. All the other wildcats are at the top of this stupid mountain of a hill. I want to climb up and see them, but I can't move. So I lay there, quite contently watching the shooting stars fly across the sky, and I make a wish at every one I see. I wish to stay with Troy forever._

_I hear footsteps coming towards me. Someone is standing over me, smiling down at me and I can tell it's Chad by his dark skin and bushy hair._

"_You OK there?" He asks and his words are very slurred._

"_I feel sick." I reply._

"_M not surprised. D'ya want me to take you back to Sharpay's room?" I know she won't like me being in her room but I'm feeling too ill to care. I just want to crash out in a comfy bed._

"_Please." And he lifts me up bridal style, despite being drunk himself, and half carries half stumbles his way back to her blindingly pink room. He places me gently in the middle of her king size bed and grabs an empty trash can and puts it beside me. _

"_In case you be sick" He explains. I smile weakly, very tempted to use it, and burry my head into the flumped pillows._

"_Fanks, Chad." I mutter, closing my eyes to stop the room spinning in front of me, but then I feel like I'm spinning. Can't win. "Where Troy?"_

"_Passed out probably. I'll get him to come see you" He says and struggles to his feet. Fear sets in as I watch him go; what if I choke on my own sick?_

"_Don't leave me" I call in a panicky voice._

"_OK, OK, I won't. I'm not going anywhere, Brie." I says quickly, grabbing hold of my hand comfortingly. _

_His warm brown eyes are boring into mine as we lay side by side. With a jolt, I realise he's starring at my lips. Next thing I know his plump velvety lips are pressed against mine. I know it's wrong, but some how it doesn't register. I'm in love with his best friend but for some reason, my drunken, slow reacting mind doesn't tell me to stop and I allow the kiss to deepen. He moves on top of me and his toned body is pressed against me and his silky hands are pulling off my top. His hands feel so good against my skin that the words to end this whole thing fail on my tongue._

"The rest is a blur and I can only remember bits and pieces." I shake my head dejectedly, almost glad I can't remember because I think that would make it worse if that was possible. "B-but when I woke up in the morning I found a note from Chad telling me to keep quiet about it."

"How did you feel about that?"

"Pretty shitty." I admit honestly. "It's like he'd used me for that one night and then wanted nothing to do with me. He treated it like it was nothing and he didn't get the consequences of our actions."

"Chad wasn't the last, was he?" She asks gently, not looking up from her notes.

I scoff, wishing he was. "Stupidly enough, no."

"What happened with your boyfriend to make you go and sleep with other guys?"

I sigh, it seemed like such a pathetic reason now after everything I'd been through because of it. "He kept saying I was changing too much. By then, I'd acquired a love for alcohol because I liked the person I became when I drank it. I was sociable and bubbly rather than shy and geeky, and it earned me a lot more attention from people. I-I fell in with another group of girls who had parties every weekend and drank regularly. I looked up to them and wanted to be like them" It sounds so stupid as it sips off my tongue but back then it made perfect sense. "So I began wearing short skirts and low cut tops to school. I began drinking so much that I've got entire days where I don't remember anything." I shake my head in shame at my past. "Troy hated what I was becoming but I resented him for trying to stop me." I frown, if only I could have seen that he was right; I did need help.

"_Gabriella, please. You've had too much as it is!" He begged, holding onto my arm forcefully as he tried to stop me from going to the alcoholic table once again. I glared at him and tried to shake him off, but he held tight._

"_Troy, leave me alone." I said warningly, my brows furrowed._

"_I don't get what's happened to you recently. You've totally changed. I mean, look at what you're wearing." He said sternly and I stared down at my outfit. I had on a black denim skirt, a low cut hot pink top and matching strappy heels. I frowned at him, seeing nothing wrong with it. "You look like a cheap slut." He said harshly and it knocked me for six having never heard him speak like that to me before._

"_If you think that then why the hell are you still with me?" I asked quietly, tears welling up in my eyes._

"_Because I'm scared that without me, you'll end up dead in a gutter somewhere." His voice cracked and the sheer honesty in his words left me speechless. I could see the concern and apprehension in his eyes as they stared into mine, the only sound that could be heard was his heavy breathing. _

"_I'm sorry." I whispered, and I truly was. I didn't realise my new life style was affecting him so. I vowed to changed back, but somehow it never happened. He pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as if he was afraid that if he let go I'd disappear. "I love you, Wildcat." I felt him smile as I pressed a affectionate kiss to his jaw line._

"_Promise you won't drink anymore?" He asked, and I pouted my glossy lips at him. "You end up acting like Sharpay after a few, and you know how much she scares me." I burst out laughing at that, knowing that his eyes go wide in fear whenever he sees her._

"_OK, OK, no more drinking for me" I said in a pretend resigned tone and he smiled happily. Too bad I couldn't keep to my promise._

"What happened then?" She encouraged.

"We were constantly arguing. We couldn't go five minutes without disagreeing about something. I got frustrated with him and started going out more and more to compensate, to make me…forget."

"Did this only make things worse?"

I nod vigorously. "He'd yell at me for getting drunk every day which made me annoyed and then I'd go out again that night to relieve my stress, which made him even more pissed off. Vicious circle."

"Indeed. This that when you slept with these other guys?"

My stomach drops and I tense up. I'd pushed those memories to the back of my head. I was not going to talk about that with her, so I nod instead of explaining it. "Did Troy know this was going on?"

I exhale noticeably. Her eyes lift from her notebook and stare at me, alarmed. "I-I didn't tell him, but word got around eventually. He kept pretending like it wasn't happening, like the whole school was whispering behind our backs where ever we went."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Nervous. Jittery. On edge. Like he could start questioning me at any moment, and I knew when that time came that I'd just break down and our relationship would be over."

"Why didn't you just tell him yourself instead of waiting for him to bring it up?"

"I-I just…_couldn't _bring myself to say the words. To confirm his greatest fears. It was so much easier to pretend like everything was OK when it was really falling apart at the seems…" I trail off, my voice cracking as the lump in my throat becomes so huge I can't speak for a moment.

The woman passes me a box of tissues as the tears I tried to keep in begin to roll down my cheeks. I wipe them away, once again knowing it's my fault I felt this way and once again being completely unable to stop them. I am so sick of crying.

"OK, Gabriella. I think we've covered enough today. I appreciate this is hard for you, but you're making good progress." She smiles sadly at me, tentatively patting my shoulder. I sniffle for the last time and get to my feet, hoping no one can tell I've been crying.

"Thank you." I whisper with a small smile.

"No problem, Gabriella. Come back when ever you like, my door is always open." She says pleasantly as I walk out of her office with a little weight off my shoulders.

:)

I stroll around the school grounds with my head down, enjoying the sun light as the beautiful faint smell of sweet flowers in the air. Being out doors always makes me feel better. I sit outside in our garden if I have a decision to make because the fresh air clears my head and makes it easier to think.

I sigh, an overwhelming feeling of loneliness taking me over. I know I have Brianna and Destiny now, but it still doesn't feel right without Troy beside me. I just wish he could forgive me. But then if I was him, I wouldn't. I've hurt him in so many ways, how could have been so very selfish?

Laughter and discussion from around the corner of the school interrupts my thoughts. I become rooted to the spot as I recognise those voices. It's Troy and his group of friends. I know if they see me, there's going to be trouble, especially seeing as there's no one else around. So I press myself up against the wall and listen to their conversation, eternally glad they are unaware I'm standing mere meters away.

"…You should have seen her face when she fell, it was classic!" Zeke exclaims gleefully, and my stomach drops as I realise they're talking about me.

"I have never seen anything so funny in my whole entire life."

"She was all…" I imagine Jason's imitating my facial expression, as the group burst into laughter a few seconds later.

"What have you got planned for that bitch next lesson?" Comes a female voice I don't quite recognise, but I bet it's the head cheerleader, Stacey. She's been hanging around Troy like a lost puppy ever since we broke up. She makes me sick.

"Oh, I don't know. What sport is it we're doing?"

"I think coach said it was swimming."

"Oh ho dude!" One of the basketball team members exclaims, and I hear them all high five each other.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Hell yeah! Drown that little bitch till she can't breathe and then drag her ass back here for some more torture!"

"Guys, stop it!" Troy shouts and it startles me and his friends into silence. "She's been through enough recently without you guys bullying and tormenting her. So just leave her alone, OK?" He says irritably.

"Dude, you still love her, don't you?" Zeke asks gently and I hold my breath as my heart thuds loudly at my chest, ears perked up to hear his reply. But none comes, and with a jolt I realise he's walking past me. His eyes meet mine for a second before his gaze returns to the ground and then he's gone. I sigh, taken aback yet delighted at the possibility that he could still have feelings for me. I hear the warning bell go in the distance and I head towards my next lesson with a slight spring in my step.

**A/N. So, the truth is out! You know what happened to Gabriella. Did you see it coming or was it a surprise?**

**Let me know what you think...?**


	4. Nightmares and Unexpected Surprises

**I apologise once again for the long delay in updating, you know how it is. Anyway, part of this chapter is very dark and contains some themes that some readers might find disturbing. If that's not your cup of tea, then click the back button. Otherwise, read on and don't forget to review!**

"_No! Mom, I don't want to do this. Don't make me, please." I beg in desperation with tears flowing down my cheeks. I have never felt so scared and alone in all my life. The nurse stands on the other side of the room, starring at me sympathetically but doesn't make any attempt to stop my mother._

"_Shut up, Gabriella!" She exclaims, pinning me down onto the bed by my shoulders. I writhe around, trying to make it impossible for her to put the murderous pill into my mouth. But she manages eventually. I try to spit it out, not allowing it to enter my system and kill the little living thing growing inside of me. But she pours a glass of water down my throat, and down goes the pill as I cough and sputter._

"_There. All done now." She says clinically, and rubs her hands together as if trying to get rid of some kind of invisible germ on them. I flop back in the chair, tearing at my hair and sobbing hysterically. I'm a murderer. I murdered this little innocent baby that was depending on me for life. It might have only been half an inch big, but it was still alive. I vaguely hear mom asking when it'll be well and truly gone._

"_Well, she'll start bleeding in around 4 to 6 hours time. This is just the lining of the womb breaking down, like your periods."_

"_OK, good." Mom says, sounding genuinely pleased that she's just forced her daughter to have an abortion. I hate her. I never want to speak to her again. I wish I could take a pill that would get rid of __**her. **__"Come along, Gabriella. We're going now." She says, gathering up her bag and coat, looking at me expectantly. I refuse to budge, my arms folded across my chest. She rolls her eyes. "Stop being so childish and attention seeking. You've only had an abortion, it's nothing to make a big deal out of."_

_I raise my eyebrows in shock and rage boils up inside of me. "Only had an abortion?" I repeat slowly, in astonishment at how heartless she's being. I pick up a tray of surgically instruments on the table beside me and throw it at her. It misses and hits the cupboard next to her head. "I've just killed a child because of your selfishness!" I yell, but she seems unfazed. _

"_Stop it. You're causing a scene." She says coldly. I shake my head in disbelief and then I scream at the tops of my lungs because it seems like the only thing I can do, not giving a damn what people think..._

I'm jolted awake from the continuous nightmare I've been having for the last few months. Nightmares are usually made of make believe stuff, but this one is completely real and I have to keep reliving the worst day of my life every night when my eyes close. I'm trembling and my sheets are soaked from the cold sweat that's covered my body. My hand goes to my stomach, as if it was just a nightmare, nothing more, and I wishfully think I'm still pregnant. But my stomach is completely flat and I _know _there's no baby there anymore. I choke back a sob and pad towards the bathroom. I flick on the glaring light and stare at myself in the mirror. My hair is messy and some strands are damp and stuck to my face because of the sweat. I have dark circles under my lifeless eyes where I haven't got a decent nights sleep in I can't remember how long. My make up from yesterday is smeared around my face. I have to look away, ashamed of the reflection staring back at me. Yet I can't change. Drinking so much I pass out is the only way I'm guaranteed to fall into a dreamless slumber. This is what happens to me if I don't drink; I turn into a wreck, haunted by my worst memories.

I turn off the light and wearily head back to bed, though I don't lay down. I glance at my alarm clock and find it's half 4 in the morning. I have to be up in an hour and a half so I figure there's no point in going back to sleep. I suddenly have the urge to call Troy, and I know he's probably still awake. My fingers twitch as I resist picking up the phone and dialling his number. I know he won't answer anyway once he sees it's me. I roll my eyes and quickly press the phone to my ear before I can talk myself out of it. I quietly slip out onto the balcony so mom doesn't over hear. I drum my fingers nervously on the barrier as the ringing continues. Just when I'm about to put the phone down, he answers.

"Hey." He says cautiously and I'm so shocked the phone almost slips out of my hand.

"You answered!" I whisper, the surprise evident in my voice.

He laughs shortly. "Yeah"

"Wow, s-sorry, I wasn't expecting that." I feel embarrassed and I'm glad he's not here to see me blushing. "Troy, did you…why did you tell your friends to leave me alone? I mean, I know I deserve it…"

"Gabriella" He purrs, and it's been far too long since he's said my name like that and it sends shivers down my back. "No one deserves the grief they've been giving you." He said sympathetically, and tears well up in my eyes.

"W-why didn't you answer Zeke when he asked you if you still l-loved me?" I ask before I can stop myself, my voice cracking.

"Because I don't know how I feel anymore. Everything's so...confusing."

"I'm sorry" I whisper as it's my fault he feels that way.

He sighs wearily, having heard me apologise a millions times before. Like he said, it won't change anything. What's done is done. "I know. I know you are."

I bite on my lip as we are both silent for a long moment. "So, how come you decided to actually talk me today?"

"I don't know. I couldn't stop _thinking_ about you, so I thought I'd _talk_ to you instead."

My breath catches in my throat at his confession. "You were thinking about me?"

"Oh…yeah. I do that quite a lot." He says, then laughs, embarrassed.

I blink rapidly, trying to process this unexpected news. "But…you ignore me when I try to talk to you"

"Well, that's because I'm still mad at you."

"Oh." I say, having temporarily forgotten everything that has happened these last few months. "Well, t-that's fair enough."

There's shouting the background of the other line and I frown. "Sorry, Gabriella. I got to go" And he ends the call before I can even say goodbye. I sigh, glad that we've actually had a conversation where we speak more than two words to each other. I suddenly realise just how much I miss him and I vow to myself that I'm going to clean up my act so I can get him back. I slip back inside and go to my wardrobe to pick out a respectable outfit that doesn't make me look like a slut.

__________________________________________________________

"Oh, my God, Gabriella! You're actually wearing _clothes_!" Brianna exclaims as she slips into her seat beside me in the home room, her eyes wide. Destiny, Lillie and Alex gather around me too, staring at me. I chuckle her their reaction.

"Yeah, I know."

"But I mean…clothes!" She repeats in astonishment, pulling at my black jumper. Underneath that I have a purple lacey cami, the black skinny jeans I live in, shiny black flats and a purple butterfly necklace and bangles.

"It's not that surprising" I mutter, blushing as the other people in the class turn around to stare at me too.

"Who are you trying to impress?" Destiny asks through narrowed eyes.

Just at that second, Troy walks into the room. He's wearing a blue shirt and his torn jeans with dark blue converse on his feet, and I can tell he's actually bothered to brush his hair for once. Our eyes meet for a moment, and a faint smile appears on his lips before he looks away. My heart leaps. This is progress. I realise I'm still staring at him when Brianna clears her throat. I blink, flustered. They're all looking at me with their eyebrows raised, their mouths formed in a perfect O shape.

I'm eternally grateful that Mrs Darbus waltzes into the room at that second, saving me a lot of explaining.

____________________________________________________________

I'm sat in History, chewing on the end of my pen, trying to focus on what Mr Sandler is writing about on board about the second world war, but my mind keeps wondering back to thinking about the guy sitting next to me. Mr Sandler is my most strict teacher, and forces to sit in the same places every lesson, no exceptions. So that meant when everything happened between Troy and I, neither of us could escape each other this lesson. It drove me mad that he ignored me when we had to work together, but now I'm glad he's sat mere inches from me.

Troy's wearing that delicious aftershave he knows I love, and I haven't smelt it on him in far too long. I breath deeply, enjoying enhailing that familiar scent that's weaved it's way into his clothes and around his room.

A folded piece of paper suddenly falls onto my lap, startling me out of my thoughts. I frown and carefully open it, reading it discreetly under the table. I recognise the handwriting instantly and my heart leaps into my throat, my fingers beginning to tremble.

_Gabriella,_

_Meet me tonight?_

_Half midnight at the water fountain in Willow Tree Park._

_Troy._

I'm stunned into silence for a long moment. The fact that he wants to willingly meet me can only be a good sign. I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head and I lift my gaze from the note. He looks at me expectantly and I smile softly, then nod in agreement. I'm not going to give up the one opportunity I've had to speak to Troy.

**The links to the outfits the characters are wearing is on my homepage, as always.**

**It might be awhile before I next update, as I have exams and holidays coming up. But reviews might make me speed up the process!**


	5. Meetings And Mistakes

_Once again, sorry about the delay in getting the chapters up, has it really been 2 months since last? I promise the next chapter will be up sooner than that (reviews make it super soon!). Anywho, enjoy, and once again, the links to the outfits worn by the characters are on my homepage._

I nervously slip out of the back garden gate, closing it silently behind me. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, thankful mom had gone to bed early tonight which meant I could sneak out. I glance at my watch and I find I only have 5 minutes to get there. I shiver in the cold night air and pull my green boyfriend jumper around me tighter and push my sunglasses up my nose. The dew grass begins to soak through my thin black pumps as I quickly stroll towards the park three blocks away. My senses on alert for any kind of movement and I'm afraid that all kinds of unsavoury characters who mean me harm could be out at this time of the night. I begin to walk faster, keeping my path underneath the street lights. A million things are running through my head, knowing everything I need to say to Troy yet I'm worried the words won't come when I need them most.

I reach the park a couple of minutes later. It's not called Willow Tree park for no reason; there are hundreds of willow trees scattered around expansive space and it's usually pack out here on a hot day, with little and brave children dipping their toes into the stream which runs through here.

I make my way along the gravel pathway and I head over to the ornate fountain of a cherub spilling water from it's mouth. Troy's already there. But then my heart sinks as I see there's someone else with him. A girl. Narrowing my eyes, I see it's none other than bitchy head cheerleader, Stacey. And I'm just in time to see her lean into kiss him. I gasp in shock and my heart breaks all over again. Through tear full eyes I notice it's a long moment before he finally breaks away. Stacey looks incredibly smug and I want to hit her but my legs are rooted to the spot.

Troy somehow senses they're not alone and his gaze falls onto me. His mouth falls open in surprise and guilt is written all over his face. There's anguish and sorrow in his eyes. He pushes past Stacey in an attempt to reach me, but I turn and run away, not wanting him to see me crying again. Not wanting him know that that kiss has devastated me and will probably push me back to my old ways.

____________________________________________________________________

_Troy's P.O.V:_

I make it to the park with a couple of minutes of spare and I'm shaking I'm so nervous. I have so much I need to say to her, but I'm scared that the moment I see her beautiful face I'll forget it all. I take a deep, steadying breath. I know I should hate her after everything she's done to me, but my feelings for her are so deep rooted that I don't know if I'll get be able to get over her. She's been looking so sad and alone recently, that I hope that slowly beginning to talk to her will cheer her up and get her back on the right path again. I just want my sweet, loving Gabriella back, who'd be up all night doing her homework, and not because she's throwing up from drinking too much. That side of her scares me.

I groan out loud as I see Stacey skipping towards me, a smile on her face and her blonde hair fanned out behind her. I'd forgotten she lived just over the road. She's the last person I want to see right now, she's like Sharpay only worse, if that's possible.

"Hey Troy!" She greets me excitedly.

"Hey" I reply flatly, mentally begging she'd go away. I didn't need Gabriella turning up and getting the wrong idea.

"What are you doing here at this time of night?"

"Uh, I'm meeting someone" Maybe if I don't look at her she'll get the hint and leave.

"Oh, not a girl I hope." She says possessively and my eyes widen in fear. Has she got some crazy idea that I'm hers and hers alone? Oh dear God. She steps closer to me, invading my personal space and I step back. "Because you know I like you, Troy." She bats her eyelashes at me and I almost fall into the fountain in an attempt to keep my distance. How can any guy find that alluring? It's scares me so much and I realise that's what I liked about Gabriella; she was never like that.

"You don't need any other girl when you have me" She says and next thing I know she's grabbed the collar of my shirt and has pressed her lips against mine. It takes a moment for me to process what's actually happening. _She's kissing you, Troy, you idiot! Stacey, not Gabriella! _My mind screams at me and I finally react, pushing her away. Stacey is smiling at me but I'm disguised with myself and I wipe my lips with the back of my hand to get rid of her taste.

The hairs on the back of my neck rise up and I feel like I'm being watched. My heart skips a beat; Gabriella. I check my watch; it's five past midnight and she should be here now. My eyes flick around the park and I find her a few meters from us, her mouth open in shock. She's seen everything. Oh God, no, no, no. She's going to hate me forever now and she's going to go off the rails even more. I'm such an idiot! I push past Stacey, needing to reach her and explain to her it was all an accident. I see a tear streak down her cheek, proof that she does still indeed have feelings for me, despite what's happened. But then she sprints away into the darkness, making it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to hear what I've got to say.

My stomach sinks to my feet and I hit my palm against my forehead. Damn it. She was making progress, she wore presentable clothes to school instead of her usual slutty outfits and she could have slowly changed back to the Gabriella I loved with a little of my encouragement. One step forward and two steps back. Now it's unlikely she's going to talk to me again. So now I've not only messed up my life, but I've messed up hers too. I'm gutted and I sigh sadly, I start walking back home with a heavy heart.

___________________________________________________________________

By the time I get home, I collapse onto my bed in exhaustion from all this concoction of emotions rushing around my body. After months of living a unfeeling shell, surpressing every emotion that threatens to boil to the surface, this is a shock to the system. My hands are trembling and my heart beat is pounding in my ears and I feel _alive _in the most ironic way.

I'm devastated Troy kissed Stacey, even if it was for less than half a minute because it was half a minute too long. It feels like a kick in the stomach; there was me thinking we were actually getting along at last.

I wonder if he planned the whole thing to get back at me. A plan for him to make me feel what he felt when he found out I'd been cheating on him. I highly doubt I he'd ever do that, Troy's just not the vindictive type. But if he did plan it, then I can't say I blame him, really. I had it coming and I was stupid enough to fall for the whole 'being nice' thing.

I sigh, frustrated. My phone vibrates from my bed side table and I check it. I have 2 new messages and 2 missed calls. My mouth drops in surprise as I realise they're all from Troy.

_*Gabriella, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was going to kiss me. I didn't do this to hurt you, I swear. Don't give up. Troy*_

_*I hope you get home OK. Please don't hate me. I'd still like us to talk some when.*_

A new wave of sobs sweeps through me and I chuck my phone across the room. Why does he even care anyway? Has he completely forgotten what I did to him? If anything, I should be the one apologising. He's being so patient and considerate to me despite the fact that I've treated him like shit in the past.

He's perfectly entitled to move on and kiss who ever he likes. It's what he deserves. He deserves someone decent, someone who he can completely trust and who doesn't need alcohol to get her through the day. Someone like I used to me. But that's not me anymore. I reach under my bed and pull out my secret stash of alcohol. I wipe away my pointless tears and pour some vodka down my throat. I need to forget. I need to not feel anything. I need help but I don't want it. I'm ashamed of myself, turning to alcohol when ever things get tough, but I can't stop. I drink and drink and cry until there are no tears left, screaming until my voice has left me, finally subcoming to the vast abyss of a dreamless sleep I don't want to wake up from.


End file.
